Better Living Through Marketing
There are so many ads for alcohol, and I really wonder if they do any good. Well, not that ads do good in a strict sense, but do these ads affect behavior? It seems to me that people make decisions about what to drink, how much to drink, when to drink, etc. with subtle personal and societal calculations dependent on taste, company, timing, plans for the rest of the evening and/or next day, and so forth. Where exactly does that bizarro Tanqeray Tony Sinclair spokesthing figure in? (He weirds me out for reasons I don't yet fully understand.)
Given the sheer amount of money dumped into sports, magazines, billboards, concerts, venues, et al, I can't imagine a proper relative benefit.
So here's my proposition. Makers and purveyors of alcoholic beverages should market toward their most dependable demographic: alcoholics. Sure, we all like bikinis, but why not incorporate useful informational slogans as well?
Goes great with breakfast cereals!
Your boss will barely smell it on your breath when you get back from lunch!
Affects driving 30% less than other leading brands!
Given the sheer amount of money dumped into sports, magazines, billboards, concerts, venues, et al, I can't imagine a proper relative benefit.
So here's my proposition. Makers and purveyors of alcoholic beverages should market toward their most dependable demographic: alcoholics. Sure, we all like bikinis, but why not incorporate useful informational slogans as well?
Goes great with breakfast cereals!
Your boss will barely smell it on your breath when you get back from lunch!
Affects driving 30% less than other leading brands!
posted by blerg3000 at 4:38 PM
5 Comments:
You forgot "Tastes as good coming up as it did going down!" and "If you are going to get drunk anyway, choose us!"
How about: "21 shots on your 21st birthday is for amateurs, Happy 40th!"
It's a scary sort of genius, isn't it? I like the happy 40th one, I so wish I'd thought of that.
Maybe we should form our own advertising company. :)
But what would our slogan be?
If you liked "Crazy People," you'll want to work with us.
Some other possible slogans:
"You draw the line, we'll cross it."
"We'll not only tell you you're fat, we'll tell you HOW fat."
"You keep it clean, leave the dirty stuff to us"
"Sick, twisted, AND cynical!"
Post a Comment
<< Home