Email Machine

Today I am an email machine. I push missives out into corporate din as fast as I can type utility. Here, take this, status, project, for your records, handoff, contact information, interim, eligibility, final dates, thank you, farewell.

Then I will clean out my cube.

It is delightful.

Random Quotes Meme

I liked this meme from Bobby Danger's blog so much, I did it myself. Also, I'm killing time. Also also, I'll take most excuses to use the word meme. It's true; just ask my wife.

Meme.

The idea is to describe yourself by going to this Random Quotes Generator and choose "the first five quotes that reflect your outlook on life."

Here are the ones that resonated with me. If any are apocryphal, well, that's just the web for you.


"He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty, he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself."
- Thomas Paine (1737-1809)

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."
- Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny...'"
- Isaac Asimov (1920-1992)

"One man may hit the mark, another blunder; but heed not these distinctions. Only from the alliance of the one, working with and through the other, are great things born."
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery (1900-1944)

"Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict."
- William Ellery Channing (1780-1842)


It's nice to see that Isaac Asimov remains a hero.

This is one for the wife, in recognition of her superpower.

"Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing."
- Randy K. Milholland, Something Positive Comic, 07-03-05

Highway People

An observation from a long-drive commuter. (Though not for much longer, no.)

Q: What's even better than a fat man on a crotch rocket?

A: A balding Indian gentleman in a business suit on a motorcycle that is obviously quite sensible.

Well done, sir. One point, however, puzzles me. My snap judgment over the 30 seconds while I passed you this morning was that you purchased your transport for fuel economy, as you were traveling slowly and safely in the rightmost lane on a motorcycle clearly not build for high speed performance. A lofty goal I certainly will not begrudge. But if you are so reasonable, why do you choose to ride without a helmet? Is it because the highway air feels wonderful over your balding pate? Is that breeze the breeze of freedom?

On Names and... Really Just a Mass of Names

Everybody should go immediately and play with the Baby Name Wizard NameVoyager. Seriously.

http://www.babynamewizard.com/namevoyager/lnv0105.html

Who stopped the bad man??? Yes you did! Yes you did!

Passed a police cruiser with "K-3 Unit" stamped on the side.

If the movie image of a K-9 unit is a German shepherd, what does K-3 mean? Is it one of those little drug dogs that you see wearing vests in airports, like a beagle or a dachshund? Is it a K-9 unit in training, and is that why it's at the mall? Do law enforcement dogs start with shoplifters and work their way up through arsonists and gang members to serial killers and terrorists?

How far does the K-X system extend? If it's all odd numbers 1-9, I suppose K-1s could be toy terriers. Or cats. Cats wouldn't catch many criminals, but they'd still be all smug about it. The dogs would work harder, feeling a need to earn approval and show those cats. Dogs are dumb that way.

The K-X unit itself, of course, is the cyborg dog. Don't fuck with it.

Still, I like the idea of the adorable K-3. I keep coming back to it in my head.

Instead of the handler saying things like, "Balder, stop assailant." followed by growls and maiming, you'd get, "Are we gonna find drugs today, Mumpy? Are we? Are we? Some pot? Some smack? Yes we are! Yes we are! Who's so brave?"

Somewhere a K-1 yawns and stretches.

When Joe-mentum Becomes Jew-mentum

I don't even have a post, I just wanted to write that.

Sorry, former Democratic Senator from Connecticut. Please remember that this is how democracies work, by voting.

But for disclosure, I am Jewish. I'm also reading "The Last of the Just," by André Schwarz-Bart and would weep if I couldn't keep my sense of inappropriate humor.

Pulling Back the Curtain

I've been calling it my Life Rejiggering Project (or LRP). It's probably not remembered (and likely not worth it), but a while ago here I made a few comments on Phase One (or LRPP-I).

And what is LRP, you might wonder? (Or not.) Well...

Law school, baby. Law school.

I'll write more about it when I have a better opportunity to collect my thoughts, but today I just wanted to put it out there. (I was also a little worried I was pissing off Moth.)

If right now you want to be the first person to call me a scumbag, you're already too late. Since I started working toward this I've learned that apparently people don't much like lawyers. Ah well, I'm still excited.

Oh, NYT, you wit, you

My favorite Op-Ed quote in a while, from one of today's New York Times editorials:

"The current chairman, Vernon Ehlers of Michigan, seems more sensible about both intergovernmental affairs and cafeteria management."

Congressional sanity at last.

The Dark Knight Sings

There is no G-d, no justice in the universe. I say this because the rumors about the Batman musical were apparently not unfounded.

It will likely require a day pass to salon.com, but go here for the story behind and a link to what may be the most cringe-inducing mp3 on the internet.

The song is remarkable for having buckets of whatever train wreck quality it is that that makes people slow down to see accidents on the highway, that makes people say things like, "Oh, this tastes terrible -- try some," that makes people watch the local network news. (Possibly with giggling, for any of those.) It might be worth studying "Where Does He Get All Those Wonderful Toys" to see if that essence can be bottled and put somewhere safe and far, far away.

It's really quite awful. Try not to imagine shuffle-dancing-backup-singing-jazz-hands henchmen.