Two Days of Meetings

In Atlanta, where it was hot. Brutally, upsettingly hot. Not that it mattered, since I only left the hotel once.

Originally I was going to share only one favorite bit of corporate-speak. But that was before corporate-speak blossomed on day 2, and I gathered a few more items.

I'll admit it's a little unfair. Lots of people invested lots of effort into putting together a positive, forward-looking experience. And it wasn't a total wash; I actually used my brain a couple times (to problem solve, mediate, whatever). And I finally met people face-to-face I've been working with for more than a year. And some worthwhile information was conferred. And I hung out with a coworker who's validly a good friend and otherwise I don't see much because we're in different cities.

And lots of the people who say these things realize they're ludicrous outside the aura of a PowerPoint presentation.

And yet, and yet, and yet...


"We bring to the table some special sauce."

"If you're talking about operationalizing a glossary, that's interesting."

"And maybe it is a pig. But sometimes you want pork."

(I actually missed that last one; it was supplied by the friend.)


I was way too amused by BAU as an acronym for Business As Usual. Did other people know about this? Was I just ignorant until now? I want to call my cubicle the BAUhaus and find a suitable chair for it.

The funniest moment (to me, in my brain) was on day 2 when "Don't work harder - Work smarter!" popped up on a slide about managerial skills. Of course my first thought was, I love DuckTales too! Then I spent an hour wondering if Launchpad McQuack finally killed himself or a passenger, or if Webbigail ever chose a nephew, or if there might be anything in the Junior Woodchucks' Guidebook we could use to cut travel expenses...

Not that I should scoff. If that advice worked for Scrooge McDuck's fledgeling shoeshine business, it should be good enough for us. Anybody have a lucky dime?